Wrestling, dragons, baseball and boys.

I was wrestling with Jay recently as we often do and he said something that really made me think. As I was tossing him around and had him folded into the dreaded "pretzel-lad" hold, he looked at me and said "daddy, I can't wait for Gabe to come home so we can both pin you in wrestling!" Over the next few days I was really thinking about what it means to me to not only be adopting, but what it means to me to be a dad.

My favorite book right now is "Wild at Heart" and part of this was inspired from this book. There are several things that many people tell you someone "ought" or "should" do to be a good Christian man/father/leader. While all of these good and noble ideals, they might not necessarily fill the need of what God has called men (and boys) to be. Boys are born with a sense of adventure, wonder, wanderlust and competition. What we "should" be in today's society is often in direct contrast of what God programmed us to be.

Any parent will tell that even at an early age boys and girls are, actually really different! Little girls play house, dress-up and host tea parties. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with this! I pray that every father attend the royal ball and have tea with stuffed animals! These moments are the real treasure of our adventure. I get great joy from being the knight in shining armor for my queen and princess.

The games little boys play are different because God intended them to be. Cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, knights, and pirates all have the same basic theme - good triumphing over evil, a winner and a loser. The costumes and props we use are not just our swords and guns, they are our identity. We need to be the victorious hero and good guy, the player who hit the winning home run in the World Series, the knight in shining armor who slayed the dragon and saves the fair maiden.

For a long time I had though my "dragons" went away after I grew up. It took me a while to learn that my "dragons" had just changed to concerns about my job at work, auto and home repairs, taxes, the copy machine at work. When I am victorious and win in these battles I know it is becuase God is helping me succeed in my adventures and all of those old feelings I had as a little boy slaying dragons come back. OK, I admit that sometimes I really do want to slay the copy machine at work, not just be victorious. I am sure some of you feel the same way!

I am in NO way condoning violence and in fact I feel VERY uncomfortable around and do not approve of guns. But did you ever notice how, even without ever really seeing sword or gun, little boys turn the fallen stick into a sword or spear and hit things? Or how boys eat their crackers into shape of a gun and shoot things? Or even turn an innocent baby rattle in the church nursery into a laser gun? (Lucian, you are awesome and you dad would be so proud!)

If we are lucky we are blessed to be able to care for and teach God's children for the first stage of their lives and see them into adulthood. Every parent would love to protect and shield their children for as long as possible, however little boys and young men especially though need to find their own adventure. They need to strike out on their own, hit the winning home run, slay the dragon, and rescue the maiden. God willing, we as parents can give them the tools to do so and be the role models for them to look to.

So, Gabe, hurry home to us my son. Not only because we love you, miss you and long to be your "forever family," but also because there are things I need to teach you as your father. Things that our God programmed me with a need to teach and you a need to learn. Really important things like how to don your spiritual armor and wield your sword of truth to slay the dragons in your life, how to hit a curve ball, how slide tackle in soccer, how to tie a fishhook on a line, and yes, how to pin daddy while avoiding the dreaded "pretzel-lad" hold!