Anyway...back to my home story...
When we got off the plane in Chicago, we lost all means of communication with Gabe. Our last Mandarin speaking connection was on that plane! We of course had been alone with him most of the time in Guangzhou and we knew his words for bathroom, juice, sleep etc. After we got home things started off well, but I have to say...the jet lag coming home was 50X's worse than going. I had a meal in the freezer and some breads and muffins which was good, we also had church family bring us meals-I cannot say how this helped. If you can get your church, or friends/family to do this for you-do it! It didn't take Gabe long to adjust or Tim for that part, but on the flight home (30 hrs of travel) I didn't sleep and then the night we got home I slept a little bit. When your sleep deprived things feel 100X's worse than they are. During the day I didn't feel too bad, trying to get our life back on track, trying to stay busy, and helping Gabe to adjust. But at night all the monster came out. Gabe wasn't sleeping well, and by not sleeping well he would wake up screaming and we had no idea what to do to help him. I would be in constant worry that he would wake up screaming at any minute and I wouldn't get any sleep-as it was I wasn't sleeping because I was so busy worrying! I worried that we had done the right thing adopting Gabe, I worried that something physically wrong with me and I was going to die, I worried that Jordan and Jay wouldn't feel loved etc. I was a mess. In the middle of the night I was just so filled with anxiety I would just sob-I think Tim (who can sleep through just about anything and had adjusted back to US time like nothing) was about to commit me! There is new research that says that post adoption depression is a real thing for families. I don't think that is what I had, just major sleep deprivation! In a few days Gabe was sleeping better, I started taking melatonin (a natural supplement that your body makes for you to sleep)and I was sleeping and all was better. I have had a few people tell me stories of how this was similar to their coming home experience, so I know that I am not alone.
Lat night (2.5 weeks home) I said to Tim-"Wow! Everything feels so right-it is all fitting together like the pieces finally all have a place in the puzzle!" Tim agreed-Gabe is finally taking to Tim and I am so happy with Gabe's attachment to us. We just had to find our new normal and it takes time.
For all my dear friends who are traveling soon, Have a great journey! It has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade any of it (ok maybe the flu). I am so glad I kept the blog. As I read through our trip, I was reminded of all the fun and memorable moments along the way. Laughing with Tom and Vicky riding the gondola up to the Great Wall, Walking through the streets of Nanjing with the Bilby's, Meeting Jada, Lily, and Anna, laughing at all the cute and funny things Gabe would say as we drove through Nanjing, taking Gabe on his first swimming experience....the list really does go on and on!
After a bath
Jay pushing his little brother in his coupe car-which he loves!!
1 comment:
Can't sleep make all the difference in the world? So glad that you guys are settling in well!
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